To My Beautiful Butterfly

Wow, beginning your journey’s road into adulthood.  As we embark on new journeys throughout our life, adulthood, marriage, children, loss, empty nest, aging, we find that the road is sometimes rocky and full of pits we didn’t foresee or anticipate.  Every new journey in our life takes us out of our comfort zone and into the unknown.  All of that is normal and it is normal to feel the growing pains involved in any new adventure.

As anyone would, you are celebrating this new chapter in your life with all the joys and adventures it can bring. Freedom to be your own person is exhilarating and the wind in your hair is fresh and robust. I think most of us felt the same way as we became adults and although we have some years on you, we still remember what it felt like; truly an exciting time.

Growing pains are never exciting or thrilling though, but are uncomfortable and sometimes very painful.  You have voiced your concern over not being understood or accepted fully.  So, let me see if I understand your concerns correctly.

• You believe that we don’t listen to your thoughts and opinions or don’t give them credence.
• You feel we expect you to automatically have the same views and opinions we have.
• You feel that if your views don’t match ours we will in some way create an atmosphere which would starve your views out.   
• You feel we are forcing our will over yours and thus dismiss your points of view as childish or of no value.  

If I understand your concerns correctly, I hope to answer them as best I can.

My dear child, I do hear the pain in your voice and my heart aches, as your mother, to know that you feel this way.  I do not dismiss your pain or negate it at all, but just the opposite. The pain I hear in your words has torn through my heart like a knife and sadden me to weeping.  No mother wants her child to feel the growing pains of life, but we know they come anyway.  I tell you this not to hurt you, but as just simply the truth of a mother’s heart, after all you did want honesty.

As your mom I long ago realized time was short and soon, too soon, you, my little caterpillar would become the exquisite butterfly GOD intended you to be. Soon, too soon, you would be flying off into your own life.  I also realize that even this most unique creature with all its beauty did not come into that beauty and freedom without the struggle of breaking free of its old self. The immature stage of growth (caterpillar) is gone and the mature adult stage begins (the butterfly).  

As you have been maturing, you have been seeking the answers to questions, forming your own opinions and struggling to find your voice.  Recently, you have chosen to voice some of those struggles and uncertainties you are feeling in a letter to us.  Your words were sharp, biting into my heart like never before. I do feel your pain, and again, it breaks my heart.  My heart also hurts because of the way you have chosen to express your concerns to your dad and me.  So, although your words were sharp, I have taken them to our LORD GOD for consideration.   He alone knows how to guide one’s path and He alone knows the answers to the questions you have.

I ask your patience in reading this letter to its extent, my prayer is you find the answers you are searching for.

In 1 Corinthians 13:11 it talks about becoming an adult; it states “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”    Of course, you are not a man, but it means for women also.  When we become adults, we give up immature thinking, actions, and thoughts and take on the responsibilities that brings. Transitioning from one phase to another always is a little rough; comfort zone are always warm and well…comfy.  As young people, we loved the freedom of not having to be totally responsible for our actions, thoughts and deeds, but at the same time we desired to be free of the constraints in and on our lives.  

The problem that creates the rockiness of the whole transition is this: the taking on of adult maturity, responsibility and thinking requires difficult choices which often seem to be strangling our fun, but in the long run, prove to be wise.  True maturity is not the freedom of being able to run willy-nilly through life doing whatever pleases us.  

Maturity is walking with and in our LORD Jesus Christ and surrendering our will to Him alone.  Surrender is giving up the self-will, self-pleasing, self-righteousness, everything selfish within us, to our LORD Master. Instead of wanting, expecting, demanding our perceived “rights” we acknowledge that He is LORD and we are nothing without Him. All we have and all we have done; all we are and all we will be, is because of our LORD Master Jesus Christ.  There is no room for pride/selfishness. Pride keeps us in a state of immaturity because we act only from our selfish natures instead of humbling ourselves and our life to our LORD Master, Jesus Christ.

We all have two choices when it comes to surrendering our lives to an authority over us. Our first choice is to live as we were born in a fallen world, in our selfishness and pride with satan as our master.  Or, we can choose to surrender our lives to Jesus and accepting His Lordship over our lives.   By not choosing the second option, we by default chose the first.  When we are content to stay in our selfishness and prideful ways not humbly acknowledging GOD as our Master, we choose to continue under satan’s control.  Oh, my dear child it may not seem like this is what is being chosen, but it is.   Our pride tells us we are self-made and no one controls us, but that is exactly the way satan wants us to believe. In reality this is satan’s infamous strategy of deception. His only concern is the destruction of lives and the twisting of GOD’s Truth. 

GOD’s Truth is the only way we can cast off our selfish sin and humble ourselves to our LORD Master, Jesus Christ.  As we let the Word of God work in our hearts, it breaks down the strongholds we have built because of our sin.  As we surrender and humble ourselves to Jesus, He transforms our life. Surrender to our LORD Master is the only way to be truly free and live as a mature and responsible adult.  If Jesus is not leading the way, we are going in the wrong direction.  No matter how “right” it may look or feel; or how the world tells us one thing or another, if it is not in the will of our LORD Master, we are going the wrong direction.  

“The wrong direction?”, I can hear you saying.  I know the world doesn’t seem to look or feel like the wrong direction, but I can assure you it is.  How do I know?  I have had the experience of life going down that wrong path. I have experienced all the pain, the emptiness, the longing for something I had no clue of, and the hopelessness life seemed to have.  Selfishness is an empty companion and can never fill the void in our hearts that GOD is meant to fill.

GOD intended for us to accept Him and His Son and humble ourselves to Him alone. In doing this we have His wisdom, His knowledge and His presence to guide us in making the right choices.  We are to have a teachable and humble spirit allowing GOD to work in our lives as He sees fit. Trusting He know what is best for us. He is the only one that knows what is best for us. 

You know, since I have come to submit to the authority of GOD and His Son, I can see both sides now.  Before, when I was my own person and didn’t need my parents or anyone’s old fashion advice, I lived in an angry and self-destructive way.  My anger, I learned later as GOD showed me, was just selfishness trying to get its way.  It made me and those around me miserable.  I refused to acknowledge any authority over me except myself.  My pride kept me from seeing the rebellion I had against GOD. My pridevision kept only the things of self in focus.  It is not a time I want to go back to. It was full of pain, hurt, dissatisfaction, misery, emptiness, hopelessness, and a void I could never fill on my own.  I was in the deep hole of selfishness with no apparent way of escape.  GOD knew there was a way and He offered it to me.  I thank Him all the time because He pulled me up from my destructive existence and gave me true life in Him.

Even as Christians, we can still have pride in our life.  We are new creatures with the same old bad habits.  Our pridevision can be strong and instead of surrendering to our LORD Master, we continue in our selfish ways.  We think we can have the world and GOD also.  We begin to pretend we lead a life we really do not.  As a Christian, we are called to deny our self and take up our cross and follow Jesus.  The only way this is possible is if we give up our pride filled life, laying it on the altar and allowing our LORD Master to work in us and live His life through us. Our self-life with all its apparent freedom is really death and destroys the very life Jesus came to give us.  We have so much more in Him than we ever get from being our own self-made person.

Because we have experienced both sides of life, we know that Jesus’ life living in us and through us gives us true freedom.  Now, we don’t want to pound you on the head with all of this, but we are simply stating the truth.  We have lived the life without Jesus and we now know living life with Jesus and because of Jesus is really life as it was meant to be.  Because of what Jesus has done for us, we choose to give up our life to Him alone.  Is it easy, no it is not.  Very hard choices must be made daily, sometimes moment by moment.  But, when we compare of life before Jesus, and our life after Jesus, nothing of our old life is worth keeping.  To me, Jesus is worth so much more than anything of this world, that I am willing to give up whatever He asks of me.  I also know that He will help me surrender those things He is asking me to give up. I am not alone in my struggle to live my life for Him. 

As a parent, Jesus asks us to give up our children to Him.  Talk about something that is heart wrenching to a mom. It is just contrary to a mother’s nature to give her child up to the care and protection of anyone else.  The only way I can do this is by trusting in our LORD Master completely.  You know, when you were born, oh, how the LORD gave me a wonderful gift!  Not that your siblings weren’t special gifts, but you were the child I was told I would never have.  I can remember holding you in my arms and rocking you to sleep.  Looking down at your cute little face I just knew that my LORD Master had something very special in store for you.  Even now as you question GOD, I still believe that is true.

Often I pray that His Will be revealed to you so that you may set your course accordingly. But you must listen to Him.  Oh, you don’t have to listen to your old parents, but to Him you need to listen to.  Don’t give up just because questions go unanswered or the world claims to be the truth.  GOD, His Son, Jesus and His Spirit are all real and ready to work in your life if you will choose to believe in them.

We know you are your own person and you too have your challenges ahead. We would love to help you along the way if you choose to allow us to or if you choose to ask us for our advice.  But more importantly, we pray that you skip the middleman and take your needs and concerns to GOD. He alone is the only one that can help you solve anything.

As a part of life we all feel unloved, disrespected, misunderstood and so on. It is natural and human, but it is a selfish pity party we cannot afford to stay in.  When we choose to stay in this pity party, our focus becomes self instead of GOD. In our pridevision we begin to believe something that is not and this breeds discontentment, anger, lust and just bad news for our lives. The key is to take those feelings, hurts, pain, whatever it is to GOD and lay them at HIS feet and let HIM direct you in Truth with His Wisdom and His Life.  

Your dad and I won’t be around forever. GOD will call us home someday.  The best advice we can give you as your parents is to seek GOD and His will for your life and seek Him first!  No other has totally unselfish motives for us.  Even though we may give it our best shot and try to avoid doing selfish things to others, we can’t on our own.  We need Jesus’ life living in us and through us to correctly relate to others we meet or live with.  Without His love, we cannot love others unconditionally, but only with selfish motives.  Jesus makes it possible for us to relate to others, love others, forgive others through His Grace, Power and Love.

We must trust and cling to GOD alone. He loves us unconditionally. His promises are true and He has never gone without fulfilling one of them, never.  He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He is mighty. He is Wonderful.

Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:4

I know life seems fun now with all your freedom, but the world always seems fun for a while. The world’s pleasures never last or satiates the soul; the world’s pleasures only satisfy the flesh.  As you know, GOD is the only one that satiates the soul and lasts for eternity.   He is the only one that has promised to never leave us or forsake us and that is a promise He will keep!

Call upon Him and believe He is true.

I love you.