Another Journey To The Altar

 “And Asa cried to the LORD his God, “O LORD, there is none like you to help…. Help us, O LORD our God, for we rely on you…. O LORD, you are our God….” (2 Chronicles 14:11-15 ESV)

Today was very, very hard.  As the tears rolled down my cheeks I looked out the window of the plane, I asked my LORD Master for help. I thanked Him for the safe trip and all the fun I had had while visiting family and friends over the holidays. Being able to celebrate His birth with my family was a truly special time. Hugging my grandchildren and playing with them was an awesome gift. But all of that made it harder to leave those I love.  I don’t know why I have been called to live many miles from those I love and care for.  I only know I have been called and although my head knows this, my heart is really struggling right now. I needed my LORD Master’s help because I know I can’t surrender all of these feelings to Him right now on my own. My flesh wants to stay or become bitter by questioning His will for my life.  I need His help.

So, just as Asa cried out to our mighty GOD for the help only He could provide, today I did the same because I knew I did not have the strength or willpower to get back up on that altar and surrender all of these feelings.  As the plane pulled back from the gate, I left all the comfort, familiarity and love of family and friends behind to go “home” to a state and city hundreds of miles away from them; returning to a “foreign” land where I have no family, but have been called to by GOD.  I now know, just a tiny, tiny bit of how missionaries must feel when they are called to leave all behind for our GOD. It has occurred to me that I too am a missionary, not like one’s sent out overseas into a third world country, but one being sent out into a domestic “foreign” land; both have hurting and hopeless people who need desperately the love of our mighty GOD through His Son and Spirit poured into their lives.

As I began thanking my LORD Master, again, for the wonderful time with family and friends, I was surprised by praise starting to well up in my heart.  As I praised Him there silently in my plane seat, I suddenly felt joy. I wasn’t joyous because I was leaving, I felt joy because of the love my Savior has for me.  Praising Jesus helped me to remember I trust my LORD Master.  I know He knows best for me. He alone knows why I am called to travel this journey’s road for the time being and all is part of His plan for my life, not forgetting the plan He has for those I love and care for; each having their own journey to walk.  I had to realize I don’t even begin to understand why GOD does what He does. I wasn’t created to understand GOD’s ways. My calling is to a life of totally surrendering my will to Him alone and walking out my faith by His Grace and the power of His Holy Spirit. If I do that, moment by moment, my journey will be pleasing to Him.  My comfort comes from knowing my LORD Master is right here helping me in my moment by moment journey.

My LORD Master is so gentle but to the point. (nothing like having my big self absorbed bubble being popped back into to reality.) As He comforted me there in my struggles with leaving, He reminded me that He too gave up His will to please His Father in heaven. He too was sent to a “foreign” land.  Ouch! I was so wrapped up in me I couldn’t think about Him or all the other people that are called for one reason or another to leave their comfort zones. My self-life was giving me tunnel vision. There, in my little pity party on the plane, I forgot to trust Jesus; I forgot that He first walked the journey’s road before me and He has promised to help and care for me. In Deuteronomy 31:8 it says: “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8  (ESV)  My self-life wanted me to be afraid and bitter because of what I was missing out on, but my life is hidden in Christ. I do not have to be afraid or bitter because, not only is my GOD with me all the time, but He is more than I can ever imagine or ask for.

My Savior fully and completely understands the price of surrendering His will to His Father in Heaven and calls me to do the same whether or not it is in some foreign land or in familiar territory. Jesus’ willing obedience to His Father’s Will was the ultimate sacrifice that paid my sin debt and allowed me to become a child of His Father.  Just as my heart was wrenched in the pain of leaving family, so much more was Jesus’ heart before He went to the cross for me. Crying out to His Father in heaven as He prayed ““My soul is very sorrowful, even to death…My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”… Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done….”   The Gospel of Mark records Jesus’ words in chapter 14:34-36: “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”          

Surrender is never easy and the price of surrender is high. Jesus’ death on the cross proved that no other sacrifice would do. He has called me, us, to do the same by willing giving up our self-dog and everything it entails; taking up our cross and following only Him in complete obedience. We do not own our life any longer. Jesus bought our life with His blood on the cross. We are Jesus’ vessels to be used as He wishes; He pours His life into us for His purposes.  Sure, He knows we are weak vessels and will often fail, but by His Grace He strengthens us. Our LORD Master’s life is living inside us and His Grace gives us all we need to fulfill what He has asked of us, if only we stay humble and broken before Him.

As we come before Jesus humbly surrendering our will to Him, Jesus alone fills us with His exquisite life. As we choose to submit more and more of our self-life to Him, He continues to peel off those old dead layers of thickly crusted self-dog surrounding our heart. Each choice to deny our self and take up our cross and follow our LORD Master reveals another layer of the true beauty of who we are in and through Him.   As the beauty and fragrance of Jesus Christ is poured into us, His love permeates our entire life.  By this one action of choosing, this moment, to surrender our will to Jesus, allows Him to work in and through us as He chooses.

Our simple moment by moment surrender can be likened to drops of water falling into

a pond; each choice to die to self is a drop of water. The water, the Living water in the pond is the life of our LORD Master Jesus Christ.  Humbled, the drop of water submits its will to the Living

water by choosing to fall into the pond. The drop of water can no longer live independently from the Living water; the two cannot be separated now. The once independent drop of water is now totally immersed in and depended on the Living water for its sustaining; moving and flowing as the Living water wishes. The drop no longer desires glory for itself, but gives all the glory to the Living water.

You see, we really have no idea of the impact our choice of surrender can make in the lives of those we come into contact with each moment. Like the waves that ripple out from the drop hitting the water in the pond, the love, the healing and the life of Jesus goes out from us to a lost and dying world. No surrender; no drop of water in the pond. No death to self; no waves.  No waves; no ripples of the LORD Master’s love flowing out into the hopeless and hurting hearts that need Him alone.  The choice is ours, but we don’t have to do it alone!

As Jesus stated in Mark 14:36 “Abba, Father, all things are possible for you.…”  we can trust that when we cry out to our LORD Master for help, help will come and what seems so incredibly impossible for us, is so very possible for GOD the Father!  Trust in Him and seek Him alone.  Let your heart’s cry be “help me, Lord Master because ‘not my will, but Yours, be done.’” 

Today, my arms were too weak to hoist the white flag on my desires to be with my family and friends back home. I didn’t want to leave them. Not being able to be physically with them was breaking my heart; I miss them very much.  But, you know what, my LORD Master met me right there on that plane and comforted me. Jesus alone gave from His unending rich and mighty storehouse, His Grace, and then helped me raise my arms in surrender.

As my LORD Master helped me crawl back up on the altar and lay my broken heart down to Him, He again, gently reminded me He too knew how it felt, for He had first laid down His life in humble obedience saying “…Yet not what I will, but what You will.” to His Father in heaven. His obedience; His willing sacrifice: His death: His risen Life; His love, all make it possible for me to surrender my will to Him, moment by moment, as He walks with me on my journey’s road.

Oh, Abba Father, thank you!  How can I not continually thank you?  Mighty and Holy are you GOD. Let my heart praise you and my voice sing out in thanksgiving to You.  Thank you, Abba Father for not leaving me to my evil heart, but giving me Your Life living inside me. Thank you for giving me the way back to You through Your Son, Jesus Christ who is my only hope.

LORD GOD, how can I not trust in You when Your Son has done so much for me. Abba Father, Your Son Jesus has given His very life for me and to me, please forgive me for my unwillingness to give You all that You deserve.  Forgive me for not seeking You, LORD GOD, first with every ounce of life I have in me; willing to give You all You ask of me. Abba, help me; help me to surrender moment by moment to You because I cannot do this without You. I don’t want to.

LORD Master Jesus, thank You for reminding me that it is You who works in me; that it is You who gives me my abilities; that it is You who gives me the breath of life; that it is You who provides, equips, comforts, sustains, and rescues me. Thank you, LORD Master for living in me, working in me and changing me into what You desire me to be. 

But, most of all, thank you for Your gift of first walking the journey’s road before me. Thank you for giving all of Yourself, willingly and obediently to your Father in heaven. Thank you for Your Life which now lives in me. Thank you for Your Word which speaks to me daily of just how Holy, Mighty  and Unfathomable You are because You are GOD, but also tells me how unending and vast Your Love, Grace and Mercy is. Your Grace provides all for me. Your Peace covers me. Your Love fills me.

How can I not share with others what You have given me?  Here I am LORD Master, send me.

Amen