Why Do We Play Pretend?

Ever since I can remember I have been strong willed, not letting anyone get anything by me, or so I thought.  Always careful to make sure I got what I believed I deserved.  My rights as a person were important to me and when I felt like others were being unfair, they heard about it.  I was quick to defend my rights at any cost.  Defending was never a quiet activity and those around me always knew what I thought about it.  My self interest was strong, controlling and ugly.  My life was made up of fussing and fighting about stupid things that really didn’t matter.  I would fuss if I thought I was getting cheated out of my fair share and so on.  I was honest, but not loving.  The only point of view I had was, what I call my “pridevision,” and could see only a narrow world of self serving rebellion.

The LORD Master left me in my stubborn rebellion for many miserable years.  Well, I know they are miserable now, but as I lived them, I thought they were normal and acceptable.  The funny thing is, there was such a longing for more that I could never truly understand. Nothing satiated the longing. Bigger homes, land, new cars, bigger TVs, better careers, children, more money, nothing relived the feeling that there was more to life than this existence day after day.

It’s funny; in the striving to achieve the “American dream,” the LORD Master brought me to Himself.  Oh, I knew of Him in name only from the “church” I had gone to throughout my life, but I never really knew Him personally or why I should.  But, as I was striving for that self-achievement the LORD Master introduced Himself.  At first, just a tease, hearing of Him through other’s tales of what He had done in their lives.  If He helped put lives back together and give hope, I thought maybe He will help me also. Only, I was a little twisted in my thinking – I thought – If I could become successful, people would look up to me, I could have whatever I wanted, and I could control more of my life.

As I encountered Jesus more, He began to change my heart. He put a longing in my heart that fueled a desire to know Him more.  As I learned of Him, I began to want more of Him, to know more of Him. Somewhere in the times we met together He was gently turning my heart toward Him.  Oh, I still had the same pride filled ways, but He was pulling down strongholds in my heart that only He could.  Then, one day, my heart opened to Him and I accepted Him as my Savior.

I have been a Christian for about 17 years now.  I am ashamed to say many of those years my “pridevision” was still going strong.  Not realizing the reality of what the LORD Master was asking of me – “to deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him,” I was content being a babe in the LORD, excusing my immaturity as being a young Christian. How long can you get away with “being a young Christian?” Hum, just a thought….

Thus, I continued to play my childish game of pretend; pretending I was more than I was, happier than I was – I could smile and pretend with the best of them at church or anywhere.  A barrier was built up to hide the real me which prevented me from letting others know who I was. Heck, I didn’t know who I was!  All I allowed them to know was the pretend me.   Yes, even as a Christian, my childish pretend game was deep and pride ran strong. Is it ever a wonder why people think of Christians as hypocritical?

As Christians, when we try to fool ourselves or others by pretending to have or do or be something we are not, we are taking our eyes off GOD and seeking other gods for our life.  Our self-life keeps us in a state of discontentment which fuels our pride.  Our whole focus gets out of whack and our perspective is turned inward. Our pride seeks to have the all glory, worship and control.

The game of pride has a long tragic history starting with GOD’s creation, a beautiful angel; a majestic creature created by GOD; a servant of our GOD Most High in His very throne room.  Only this angel was not content with how and what GOD made him. He saw his beauty and it filled his heart with the want of glory for himself.  So filled with pride, he no longer was satisfied serving GOD, he wanted to be GOD. Satan, the name we know him by, his desires were for himself only(self-dog). Instead of exalting GOD, the Creator, thanking Him for making him so magnificently, and serving GOD with all his heart, Satan chose to sin against GOD and deny GOD His due Glory. Satan’s sin of selfishness not only destroyed his life in heaven but also took the lives of a third of the angels who chose to follow him. Pride always has casualties.

Pride has been natural in man since the sin was introduced, by Satan, to Adam and Eve in the garden. After Adam and Eve’s sin, we all are born in a sinful state and into a fallen world where Satan rules over with deception and destruction. Satan being the father of lies, John 8:44 (ESV) tells us:

“You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

And in John 10:10 Jesus tells us that “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy….”  Nothing good ever comes from Satan, although, he tries to make us think otherwise.

Satan’s anthem is misery, destruction, and death, and, because he introduced his sin to our parent’s long ago, pride is the natural course for man as fallen unregenerate beings.  As unregenerate people, we can’t help but be prideful and sin; we know no other way.  But, to complete what Jesus was telling us in John 10:10 “…I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  Jesus came to this earth to give us another way; He came to give us a way out of our sinful natures and to restore us to a right relationship with GOD the Father in Heaven.

Jesus is our Savior; His blood and death on the cross paid for our sin debt and He has given us restoration.  Jesus came so that we could chose to believe in Him, follow Him and be given life through Him. Jesus is the only way to GOD the Father and a life in Heaven.

Now, we can choose to stay in our original prideful, sinful state, which leads to death or we can choose to believe in Jesus, confess and turn away from our sins. We ask for forgiveness and we profess His name as LORD.  In faith we believe that He has done this for us and that, we, on our own could not now, or ever, do anything to pay for our sin debt before GOD the Father.  When we become children of GOD, we are given eternal life and a way out of our sinfulness.

Long ago Lucifer did not want to acknowledge GOD as his GOD.  He lusted in his heart after what GOD had and was. He wanted all the praise, worship and glory for himself. His thoughts were not for the will of the Father but only of what he self-willed.  Satan failed to obey GOD’s commandment as Jesus told to us in Matthew 22:37-38:  

And He[Jesus] said to him[Satan], “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.”

When we become Christians, our LORD Master Jesus has gives us life by filling us with His Spirit; he has given us the power through His Holy Spirit to overcome our sin of pride.  Pride (self-life) and Christ’s life are at odds with one another; they are not and can’t be compatible with each other. Pride is sin but Christ is sinless.  But, just as we receive from GOD the Father our abilities and gifts, He too alone gives us the power to do as He has commanded.

As a Christian, Christ’s life living in us makes it possible, by His Grace, for us to surrender our pride(self-will) to Him.  His power enables us to do what He asks of us- to deny our self and take up our cross and follow Him.  We cannot deny our self if we don’t continually surrender our will to Jesus; denying our self means making a choice to lay down our selfish will to do the will of the Father.  If we are not laying our self – everything down to GOD, following Jesus’ commandment of loving GOD with all our heart, soul and mind becomes very difficult, if not impossible as we continue to play in our self-made game of pretend.

We are funny creatures. We are nothing and have nothing on our own, but oh how we love to take all the credit for our lives and think we are better than others. Everything we are and have comes from the Father in Heaven through His Son Jesus Christ.  It is Jesus who gives us the breath of life and sustains us minute by minute. It is Jesus who, by His Grace bestows on us blessings as He sees fit. Our abilities, our homes, our children, our careers, our- everything has been given to us by the Grace of our LORD Master Jesus Christ; we own nothing; our very life has been purchased by Christ through His death on the cross.

Why is it then, as children of GOD, we continue be hard – hearted and talk and live as if we can accomplish on our own, independent from GOD?  Like Lucifer, our self-life wants to be worshiped and answerable to no one.  We refuse to admit that we cannot and GOD can. So, pride keeps us chained to the world and in rebellion to our Mighty GOD because we refuse to humbly bow before our supreme GOD and acknowledge Him as LORD.

We have to get out of the pretend game! We are not fooling GOD.   We must humble ourselves before our Mighty God and repent of our selfishness. We must realize that we have nothing except by the Grace of GOD alone.  We must acknowledge Him as sovereign in our life and cry out to Him “not my will, but Yours”  LORD Master.

As we cry this from our hearts, repentant and humble, before our LORD Master, He will moment by moment help us surrender more and more of our self-life to Him. When we do, we can live and walk in the only way pleasing to our LORD Master and our Father in Heaven

Our Abba Father knows what is best for us and we must always trust in His perfect way even when the way seems dim and the path is rocky.  When we walk by faith we are trusting in Jesus and His perfect way for our life where ever He may lead us.  We must be willingly willing to go where He sends us and lay down our life to save it.

Oh, we will blow it sometimes and the LORD Master knows our frailties, but keep crying out to Jesus for help. He is there and He will help you.  He promises to do so. Trust Him.

LORD Master, I want to get out of the Pride game.  I confess to You that I have been living in my self-life mode and not acknowledging You with all my whole life.  LORD Master, help me to crawl back up on the alter and lay down my pride filled heart as a living sacrifice to You.  LORD Master, I cannot do this alone, but I know nothing is impossible for You, so with You, I am willing to sacrifice my self-will, laying it down at Your feet and accepting Your will for my life.

Oh LORD Master, how much we need You and how little we seek You. Please, forgive us. LORD Master, create in us a desire so strong that it consumes everything in us but Your will alone. LORD Master show us our sinful hearts so that we may repent of our sin and turn back to You.

Father GOD, fill us a fresh with Your Spirit so that there is no room for self in us any longer.  May we go wherever you send us; may we lay our lives down to Your will so that we may find life with You for all eternity.

Father we love You and trust You to work in us for our good so that Your purposes for our life may be fulfilled. 

Amen